inbroadwayvalley: thesummeroflike: aegisaglow: thesummeroflike: peewentz: are oranges named orange because they’re orange or is orange called orange because oranges are orange which came first: the orange or orange Orange was first used to refer to the fruit around 1300 but not used as a color word until around 1540. then what was the colour called before then there was no...
laugh-addict: “Everybody stand up and move around the room for this activity. You need to speak with at least five of your classmates.”
attains: attains: if i were a murderer i’d be the febreze murderer and lead my victims blindfolded to undisclosed locations and i’d ask them what they smelled and they’d be like “omg ocean air and tulips” and then i’d rip off the blindfold and it would be A PILE OF THE BODIES OF MY PREVIOUS VICTIMS my mom made me go to a therapist because of this
dinnerpartydan: That awkward moment when you ran up the stairs and now you’re trying to hide your heavy breathing like it’s no big deal but you’re actually pretty winded and dear god you need to work out.
princass: life is tough when you’re a lazy perfectionist who simultaneously doesn’t give a shit about anything but at the same time cares too much about everything u feel
saderidan: When a character death is so sudden you just sit there in shock for three minutes wondering where the hell that came from
shutupaubrey: parents who try to shelter their children from every little thing that could possibly corrupt them are going to have some fucked up kids
chestermcbadbatt: today at school we had a pep rally and the principal was giving motivational speeches and hes like “for exams, just remember the “tion” rule! it it ends in tion, it’s awesome! concentration, relaxation, participation, ect” and i leaned in my friend dany’s ear and whispered “anal penetration” and she started crying
simplydalektable: lysnk2: heartthrobbstark: i read this interesting fact the other day that pirates wore eye patches because they frequently transitioned from bright sunlight to darkness below deck and when they went below deck the covered eye would already be adjusted to darkness so they could immediately see really well and not have to wait for their eyes to adjust THIS IS LEGIT THEY...
circumcisions: sorry but according to physics you’re not allowed to be both cool and hot so try again
of-hobbits-and-men: deathbedscene: mycutefriendsweetprincess: my dream is to one day make enough money to remake the movie twilight so that everything is exactly the same except edward cullen is played by kanye west and kanye west doesnt have a script and isn’t even aware of what the plot of the movie is, he’s just kanye west reacting to twilight in real time #i didn’t know i wanted this...
nautilid: sarapunzel: real women have curve just one curve real women are circle
pvblik: okay my 10 year old self was pretty sure that boys would be kissing me by now
pizzaforpresident: cinnam0nkisses: pizzaforpresident: A sequel to 21 Jump Street is set for release next summer which begs to the question, what will it be called? I have a few ideas: 21 Jump Streets 2 Jump 2 Street 21 Jump Street: Tokyo Drift Jump Street 2 Jump 1 Street 21 Jump Street 2: Electric Boogaloo what about 22 jump street No that’s ridiculous.
phleps: yeah babe ive got protection. dont worry. *pulls condom out of nose*
bikwin5: some BODY ONCE TOLD ME
ryahn: grapewallofchina: ryahn: grapewallofchina: 80% exhaustion 10% sarcasm 20% dont care that’s 110 percent 20% of me doesn’t care should’ve seen that coming
rpgmaker: the phrase “anal canal” looks like it rhymes but it doesnt
thebetamale: “you must be john winchester’s bastard”
how to get ready for school: cry
moondoggiestyle: at my 7th grade parent teacher conference, my english teacher was telling my mom how insightful my poem was about ‘my evil twin’ and how fascinating it was that at my age i could recognize the dark parts of myself but i was just talking about my twin brother he was such a dick
jesusfreakinglucifer: i think everyone has that one phrase that we all use ironically but then after a while it just becomes completely unironic like i used hot diggity once as a joke and now i say it all the time im telling you ironic phrases are like gateway drugs to being openly mocked
westbor0baptistchurch: lolsofunny: westbor0baptistchurch: We all use to say “peasant” (lol here!)